Rules to my Daughters...

So a while back, I posted "25 Rules of Moms to Sons"... today I thought I'd add a great list of things that I want my daughters to know. I borrowed them from another blog, but found each of them to be so true. I am one of three daughters and have two of my own. There was a good long while that I thought I'd only be a Mommy to Daughters. I love everything about my girls and love watching them grow. I have realized a lot recently that my sweet CeCe is getting so grown every day. I wish I could put a cinderblock on her head to make it stop... wish I could freeze time with all three of them. While I know that I can't do that, I hope that one day my precious girls will read these things and take them to heart.


A mother's treasure is her daughter.  ~Catherine Pulsifer

25 things i want my daughter to know

January 20, 2012 by Mommy OM

1. Enjoy the innocence of your childhood.

In a world full of superficial values, peer pressure, and bullying, as well as a pop culture that pushes materialism and consumerism – you are being leapfrogged through your childhood. There is a constant pressure for you to grow up way too fast. I mean, when did 5 become the new 10, anyway?

Grow slowly.

2. Smart is the new cool.

Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math. Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths.

3. No matter how many times you hear it, “Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend.”

Friends are invaluable. They are trusting and loyal. They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad. Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.

Friends forever, through whatever.

4. Go for it, get dirty! It’s good for you.

Besides the fact that getting dirty actually does help support your immunity, it’s also a great way to express creativity! Sculpt, draw, and stomp. Better yet, go “classic” and make some mud pies.

5. Beat the boys at their own games.

Football, baseball, hockey or golf, never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. So go ahead, build the tallest tower of legos, kick butt on Xbox, and bust out your light saber.

Flippin’ awesome.

6. Be spiritual.

Find the desire to understand the universe and your place in it. Take the time to notice the earth and all of its beauty. Give thanks to God.

7.  See the world.

Experience new cultures, religions, people, and places. Open your heart and mind to the tremendous benefits of studying and visiting domestic and foreign lands.

Bon Voyage

8. A strong hand shake leaves a lasting impression.

It represents self-confidence and ambition. A strong hand shake and eye contact exemplifies a mutual respect for one another and is a sign that you are friendly, trustworthy, and honest.

9. Choose your role models carefully.

Even though you are only 5, I am so glad that right now you have absolutely no idea who Hannah Montanna is.

10. Read something everyday.

From the Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss to Junie B Jones, reading is exercise for your brain. It expands knowledge and vocabulary- and lets your imagination run wild.

11. When it comes to wearing make-up, there’s a general rule of thumb that applies-LESS is MORE.

12. When it comes to fashion, shorter does not always equal better. Fashion trends come and go and not all of it is fabulous. Half tops and mini skirts are great for an 85 degree day at the beach or if you’re a Miami Dolphins cheerleader, but not for your high school yearbook photo.

13. Please, please, please do not allow yourself to become someone else’s property. Why this is trendy, I will never figure out. If you want to make a statement about yourself on clothing, at least let it describe an aspect of who YOU are.

I just don’t get it.

14. Speaking of trends, I hope that by the time you are allowed to date, guys don’t wear their pants hanging half way down their ass like they do now. I really feel like this has been pretty popular for quite some time and I am praying that it finally goes away by 2022. Also, I will flip my lid if you become this guy’s property! (see #13)

15. Being an angel should not and does not mean wearing only your bra, underwear, and a set of wings for everyone to see.

16. Since you’re growing up in the technological age of iPad, iPod, iPhone, and texting, I have to address the horrendous lack of writing skills being used by today’s youth. This phenomenon of truant letters may very well be the Death of English (LOL). Bottom line, don’t use text lingo in your thesis.

What does this even say?

17. Speaking of text lingo, verbal slang is just as unprofessional. Reminds me of Alicia Silverstone from Clueless. OMG, ROFL, BFF, TMI, FYI, IDK….As If.

18. Don’t let pop culture define you.

I don’t know why, but today we let pop culture manipulate our youth and it’s killing them emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. From the early on fascination with princesses, to the ‘need’ for a boyfriend and big boobs, popularity, teen moms, and all the other garbage being thrown in their face – be confident going against the grain.

19. Accept yourself for who you are.

You’re one-of-a-kind and that’s what makes you beautiful. Tall, short, big, small, blonde, brunette, redhead, white, brown, blue, pink, yellow – we are all DIFFERENT.

20. Mainstream your health.

It’s life’s greatest asset. A positive approach to health encompasses physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well being. Healthy lifestyle choices in your youth will help lay a strong foundation for continued wellness throughout your adult life. Diet, exercise, stress management, chiropractic, self motivation, positiveness, and meditation, as well as a number of other approaches are guaranteed to make a huge impact on your quality of life, health, and happiness.

21. Have confidence in yourself.

A positive self image assures power, strength, ability, and value. It will enable you to conquer your goals and allow you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams.

22. Be a sister. Be a friend. Be a protector.

23. Love with all your heart.

For where there is love there is life. Love is universal and felt by all living things. So strong is the feeling of love that it is said it makes the world go round.

24. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself.

Laughter is humbling. It inspires and motivates.

25. Wherever you are in life, you can come home. I will be here – always.

♥ mommy

Cardiac Pack!

I know... I know... it's been a while. I totally haven't done well with my New Year's resolution. Life with 3 babies just keeps getting in the way :) Again... I'll try to do better!

This past weekend was the ACC Tournament. While to some of you that may not be a big deal, to those of us that grew up in the state of NC (especially in the Triangle and surrounding areas), ACC Basketball is HUGE. We take basketball seriously and the ACC Tournament is no exception. Growing up I can remember checking out of school early on Friday afternoons to watch the ACC Tournament. Life somewhat stopped that weekend in March (well pretty much the whole month)... still does to some degree. My point is that, to those of us living in NC, we take basketball as seriously as those of you that follow SEC football. It's just a way of life. It's the way we're raised. It's in our blood. We can't help it!

I've been an NC State (referred to as State from here on out) fan since I can remember. I remember playing "cheerleader" as a child and pretending that Dick Sheridan and Jim Valvano were my "brothers". I remember going to the Henderson Mall to buy a t-shirt when State won the NCAA championship in 1983. (gosh, I loved that t-shirt). I remember how excited State fans were... quite the "Cinderella" story.

1983 NCAA Championship

As I think back on this, I can't help but wonder how I ended up a State fan... the majority of my family has gone to UNC (referred to as Carolina from here on out). My 5 foot grandmother was/is the BIGGEST Carolina fan you'll ever see, as were most in my family. Bless her heart, she would pull her walker up to the TV to watch Carolina play... and got MAD when they lost...to the point of tears. It was precious and priceless. Such a hard core fan. So why was I (singular) a State fan? Did I just like the underdog at an early age? Did I just like to disagree with my family when I was five? Was it that my Uncle Tim, who I kinda thought hung the moon at the time-still do, was a State graduate? Did I just like the colors RED and WHITE together? Who knows? Regardless... I loved State then and I love State now. It's funny... I was telling Archer yesterday that I'm sure there are many conspiracy theories about why I dislike UNC so much. I honestly don't know... it's not some crazy ex that went to Carolina or was a die-hard fan... not because I didn't get accepted (I didn't apply because I didn't want to be accepted and be pushed to attend). Maybe one day I'll figure it out, but in the meantime, I'm damn sure glad I married a Wolfpacker, even if I was a Meredith Angel :)

State started out the ACC Tournament on Thursday with many thinking we'd lose (yes, we had to play on Thursday and got ridiculed for it)... but guess what? We WON! We played again on Friday... again, we WON! We were on a roll! Saturday (yes, I'm still "whining"), we played our ASSES off against Carolina and due to poor officiating, we lost. (actually we had a few turnovers and missed free throws that could have helped us win and I know, I know... Henson didn't play, but an awful NO CALL at the end of the game certainly helped us lose). Side note: if you're a Carolina fan and feel the need to say something ugly, keep it to yourself... this is MY blog and this isn't about you. Feel free to start your own :)

Karl Hess Tribute.

Would we get into the NCAA Tournament? The Big Dance? That was the big question that we were all waiting on... 6:00pm we started seeing the brackets revealed. What a long wait...whew! and Wouldn't you know that State was the last one called? The last one? I've never seen such excitement from team members, fans, myself, etc! What a huge SURPRISE (my life full of surprises)!

Team Reaction - so great!

We play this coming Friday against San Diego State. Who knows if we'll win? I sure hope we do, but bottom line is, win or lose, we got there. State is going to dance for the first time since 06-07 with a very capable team that has a craving to win! Thanks to Mark Gottfried for showing us the way! I certainly hope that I'll have more State Surprises to talk about, but if I don't, this one post if just fine. I'm so proud of this team and all that it has accomplished this year. I'm proud to pull for the Cardiac Pack... as I have for the past 30 years... maybe one day I'll just figure out where all of this Wolfpack love has come from. 

“Be a dreamer. If you don't know how to dream, you're dead.” -Jim Valvano

“Don't give up, don't ever give up." -Jim Valvano

GO PACK!!!!

Moms & Sons

So, as most of you know, our Tee was a surprise. A surprise of the biggest kind... our blessing. The weird thing is, when we found out that I was carrying a baby boy, Archer cried tears of joy and I thought to myself, "what in the heck do I do with a boy? a penis?" I'm one of three girls and had two girls of my own. I knew nothing about boys except for my nephews, who both lived in different towns. Hmmm... 


The catching on to boys thing didn't take long once he arrived. I actually found that he was easier than the girls and sure was a lot more cuddly. The girls always wanted their "dddaaaaddddddyyyy". In fact, neither of them really cared for me until they were three. (not a lie... they were nice to me during the day because it was a survival technique) Yep. I liked this boy thing. I was finally beginning to understand what people meant when they said, "you're having a boy? oh wow... you sure are going to love having a boy. There's just something about them. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my daughter but it's different with sons." And I must say, I honestly took offense to it. I didn't get what they were saying. I loved my daughters and would have been thrilled with a third one. Downright giddy with another little girl! But I gotta be honest, I get it now...there is something different about little boys. I love my CeCe and Pat Pat more than anything and I hope they will always be right here with me, but I feel like I only get a few (hopefully 18-22) good years with my sweet baby Tee and dammit, I'm going to make the most of it!


I read this on a blog recently and wanted to share, it makes me smile, laugh and cry. It sums up the sweet relationship between moms and their little guys. Enjoy!

25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

Inspired by a Pin I've recently seen about "rules for dads with daughters," 

I went searching for a similar list for moms with sons.  This search was 

mostly fruitless, so I was inspired to write my own Rules for Moms with Sons. 

Granted, my list will not be conclusive and may not be entirely uncontroversial. 

So agree, or disagree, or take with a grain of salt - but I hope to inspire 

other moms who are loving, and struggling, and tired, and proud, and 

eager to support the boys in their lives. You are the most important 

woman in his life, his first teacher, and the one he will look to for 

permission for the rest of his life.  From "Can I go play with them?" 

to "Should I ask her to marry me?"  Its a big job, but as the 

mumma, we're up for it.

25 Rules for Moms with Sons

Source: pre-schoolplay.blogspot.com via Tabitha on Pinterest

1. Teach him the words for how he feels.Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment.  He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement.  Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference.  Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion.  Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.

2. Be a cheerleader for his lifeThere is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games.  There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics.  There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts.  There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade.  He will tell you to stop.  He will say he's embarrassed.  But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

3. Teach him how to do laundry..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt.  He may not always choose to do it.  He may not ever have to do it.  But someday his wife will thank you.

Source: offbeatmama.com via offbeatmama on Pinterest

4. Read to him and read with him.Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents."  Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books.  Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles.  Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever.  Writers are the transcribers of history and memories.  They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important.  And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

5. Encourage him to dance.Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals.  No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three.  It doesn't have to be good.  Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move. 

6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrityThe examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.You already are all of those things.  If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this:  If you have done any of the following:  a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero.  do not doubt yourself for one second.  Seriously.

Source: simplymontessori.blogspot.com via Terry-Anne on Pinterest

9. Teach him to have mannersbecause its nice.  and it will make the world a little better of a place.

Source: swagbucks.com via Adriana on Pinterest

10. Give him something to believe inBecause someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there.  Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.

Source: theberry.com via Chris on Pinterest

11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentlelike with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.

Source: heatherbeadles.com via Heather on Pinterest

12. Let him ruin his clothesResolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes.  You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable.  Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes.  Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

13. Learn how to throw a footballor how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song.  Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

Source: shanna-kaye.com via Shanna-Kaye on Pinterest

14. Go outside with himturn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away.  Just go outside and follow him around.  Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions.  It's like magic.

15. Let him loseLosing sucks.  Everybody isn't always a winner.  Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't.  He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed.  And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids.  This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....)  Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose.  But that doesn't mean you ever give up.

Source: None via Emma on Pinterest

16. Give him opportunities to help othersThere is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help.  Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities.  Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together. 

Source: data.whicdn.com via Meagan on Pinterest

17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life.  You become a better writer by writing.  You become a better listener by listening.  You become better speaker by speaking.  Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing.  Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip.  Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier.  Practice, practice, practice.

18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"Answer him, or search for the answer together.  Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches).  Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself.  Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.

Source: 1.bp.blogspot.com via Maegan on Pinterest

19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.especially the wipes.

Source: babyhold.com via Katie on Pinterest

20. Let his dad teach him how to do things...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.'  If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything.  You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers.  And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom,  you will stay connected to what is happening in his life.  Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

Source: familyfun.go.com via Kate on Pinterest

21. Give him something to release his energydrums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog.  Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff.  and then you'll be sorry.

Source: bleubirdvintage.typepad.com via Marybess on Pinterest

22. Build him forts Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic.  Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders.  For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

Source: None via Tabitha on Pinterest

23. Take him to new places Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

Source: None via Anne on Pinterest

24. Kiss him Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet.  They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day.  But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender.  So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?'  Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild.  Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old.  You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it.   p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too). 

Source: smallesthings.blogspot.com via Sherry on Pinterest

25. Be home baseYou are home to him.  When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back.  When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile.  When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times.  When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands.  When he is sick, he will call you.  When he really messes up, he will call you.  When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious.  Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun.  Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.